Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
