It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
