I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
