Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
