ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
