I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
