I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
