he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
