dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
