Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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