I heard we made out
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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