you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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