Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
