Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize