We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
