Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
