Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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