And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
