why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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