It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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