I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just had sex bonerless
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
