Dual....:-)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you had me at cake vodka
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
