my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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