What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
