and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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