if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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