the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
