he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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