remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize