I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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