if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
