Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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