Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
