in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
