I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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