is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
