i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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