Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
