i permit you to call me
her vagine was all disorganized.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She's the barista slut.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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