kristin has been a bad kristin
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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