At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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