dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
