lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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