Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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