I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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