i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
