Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
