butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
