Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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