I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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