you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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