I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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