I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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