apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
