when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
