i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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